Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
