Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
