In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
