turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We are two peas in an std pod
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
