This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
