Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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