No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
