Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
