she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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