For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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