Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
