I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize