my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
