32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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