it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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