holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
