well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
