Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
