Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
