Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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