But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
