If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
