She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
