Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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