It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
is wine microwaveable?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize