he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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