dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
