dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
