He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
