I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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