youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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