in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
