I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
