So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
