obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
