Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
