If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
