I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
