He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
