Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
there is puke in my bra ... again
God, I missed his penis.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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