He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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