I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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