so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize