Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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