My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
