Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
