i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
