She said her name was "party"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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