i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize
