My first STD was from a foam party
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
