so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
