Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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