Having a random hookup so left but love u
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
