so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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