i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my mouth tastes like poor choices
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You pole danced in your parka.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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