i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
