The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
