Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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