the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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