i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
