My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
