Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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