Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He did a backflip because drugs
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
