In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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