I'm going to jail i love you
We named our party play list daddy issues
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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