Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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