But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize