She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
