So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
