dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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